I completely lost my mind

This day started completely harmless, uninspiring.
I thought, oh how nice, finally relax a bit and come to rest.
Oh my God.
That I should lose my mind at the end of the day was not up for debate.
Not even remotely.
Totally unthinkable.
But it happened.
I was there.
On our way to the next night we went for a short walk to visit an old gold and silver mine. 
The view was super nice, the suspension bridges less wonderful.
Especially not when more people go to the bridge than should.
Sometimes I wonder if people can or do not want to read signs.
I did not like my stomach either.
In comparison, what should come there, children’s stuff.
After the mine we drove on to our next hostel for tonight.
Once there, there was still a short time to unpack things and change.
Already at the beginning of the bus trip I booked for today rafting through the Glühwürmchen cave here in Waitamo.
Cool thing.
In the afternoon it was then on the bus and off you go.
Once there, move into these beautiful wetsuits.
At that point, I thought we were about to get into a big red rubber boat and let us drive through the cave.
Had I known what to expect, I would not have gone there.
Definitely not.
Did I mention that I have a fear of heights?
If not, now I do it.
But for this journey it is also my goal to face the fears.
In our beautiful clothes it went on.
After a brief briefing, each of us received a rubber tire.
At first I thought, huh, what will that be now.
Maybe we’ll do a quick detour before that or something.
Then our guide turned and showed us what we should do.
I stood there and believed that makes jokes.
A bad joke.
I could not laugh.
We should actually take the tire, jump behind us and backwards into the water.
Are you crazy?
He’s crazy.
Apparently not.
At the latest after the first jumped in, I realized that’s serious.
How do I get away from here?
The fastest way out of here was where and how long?
Shit, shit, shit.
Where did I get caught up here again?
Maybe I should get used to it in the future, read it through first.
Running away is not an option.
No, right.
I forgot.
Do what you have to do.
The first jump was awful.


After that, I decided to see it as an opportunity.
For so many years has this fear accompanied me.
What if she only exists in my head.
Here is the possibility to find out.
I’ll do it.
What else.
From the moment it got better.
As I write these lines, I’m still proud of myself.
Fear of heights pah.
In this cave I climbed in crevasses, crawled through the water, jumped down waterfalls, backwards into the darkness.
Damn ax.
That would have been completely unthinkable for me a few weeks ago.
Now it is done.
Is this going on?
Will I look my fears in the eyes and defeat them, let go.
What happens then?
No idea.
First of all, I’m very proud of myself and will never forget that experience again.
A unique opportunity and opportunity.
I will definitely sleep well and find my mind again.
I’m completely overwhelmed right now.
What a day.